Approved Guide
How to Handle Cope with Abusive Adult Children Step by Step
When cope with abusive adult children leaves you confused, worried, or unsure what it means, a clear step-by-step approach can help you sort the signal from the stress. This guide explains how to understand the situation, reflect on what matters, choose a practical next step, and know when to ask for trusted support.
Share:
Link copied to clipboard!
1
Say “no" to unacceptable behavior.
Setting strong boundaries with abusive adult children is essential, but don't do so at the risk of your safety. If you feel threatened or think you may be in immediate danger, get yourself out of the situation before trying to come up with a solution.
- Know your limits
- Prioritize your safety above all else
- Setting strong boundaries with abusive adult children is essential, but don't do so at the risk of your safety.
- If you feel threatened or think you may be in immediate danger, get yourself out of the situation before trying to come up with a solution.
- Setting strong boundaries with abusive adult children is essential, but don't do so at the risk of your safety.
2
Follow through when boundaries are violated.
clearly. Explain what will happen if the inappropriate behavior occurs. Do this clearly and thoroughly so there is no question regarding what steps you'll take if the boundary is crossed.
- Be specific about what is not allowed
- Explain consequences for misbehavior
- Avoid being aggressive or passive-aggressive
- Explain what will happen if the inappropriate behavior occurs.
- Do this clearly and thoroughly so there is no question regarding what steps you'll take if the boundary is crossed.
3
End the relationship if the abuse continues.
You can expect your adult child to react negatively or even violently if they feel their behavior is being challenged. Be prepared for this and have a plan in place to protect yourself.
- Have an escape plan
- Prioritize self-care during difficult times
- Be aware of your surroundings
- Know your rights as a victim of abuse
- Stay calm and assertive
4
Caring for Yourself
Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. Having a strong support system is crucial when dealing with abusive adult children.
- Identify your support people
- Communicate openly with your support network
- Be open to receiving help and advice
- Prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed
- Have a plan for emergency situations
5
Talk to a counselor.
Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who specializes in elder abuse. They can provide you with guidance, support, and strategies to deal with your abusive adult child.
- Find a therapist specializing in elder abuse
- Be open to therapy and counseling
- Prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed
- Learn new coping mechanisms and strategies
- Develop a plan for emergency situations
6
Spend time with supportive people.
Keep a record of all incidents, including dates, times, locations, and details of what happened. This can be helpful if you need to report the abuse or seek support from authorities.
- Be specific about events
- Include witness statements
- Keep a record of all communication with your child
- Prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed
- Have a plan for emergency situations
7
Create a self-care routine.
Develop a plan for how you will stay safe, including who to contact in case of an emergency. Make sure you have a way to communicate with trusted friends and family members.
- Identify safe places
- Have a list of emergency contacts
- Prioritize self-care and take breaks when needed
- Learn new coping mechanisms and strategies
- Develop a plan for emergency situations
Community Q&A
Be the first to ask a question about this guide.
References
- https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/
- https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2013/10/23/the-bill-of-rights-for-parents-of-adult-children/
- https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/rules-boundaries-and-older-children-part-ii-in-response-to-questions-about-older-children-living-at-home/
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/elder-or-dependent-adult-abuse
- https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/elder-abuse-and-neglect.htm
- https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/abuse
- https://www.thehotline.org/2016/03/31/5-self-care-tips-for-abuse-and-trauma-survivors/
Was this guide helpful?
12 people found this helpful
HowDadDo Around the World
Subscribe to the HowDadDo Newsletter
Get expert tips, weekly how-to guides, and dad wisdom delivered straight to your inbox. No spam, just good stuff.
Help us build the world's best
dad manual.
Every guide on HowDadDo is written and fact-checked by real people — no AI-generated fluff. Join our community of experts helping dads figure life out.